The Young Man 's Journal

      I have a friend ....oh nope .. should be i have a brother right now .... Who is he is not really a matter as his story will be the main topic on tonight.       It's 6:30am in the morning , moreover , today is Saturday , should be very great right ? I told myself that i have to wake up right now for he is coming to my house on 7:00am but the dream i dreamed was fantastic like a roller coaster and it's hard for me to get up ... HAHA ... forget about it , when i woke up ,it's already 6:55am ..... Arhhh.... What should i do right now ? I haven't prepare anything yet and make up my room ... My image is going to be spoiled ..... Opps...Suddenly,  i got a message , he told me he would arrive a bit late , may be around 7:20am ..... I was like ... Oh ... Thanks God  .... So , what i did .... I cleaned my room and myself and went out to buy some breakfast . Life's good all the time ... haha....7:25am .... He was here and downloading his anime.       About 8:30am ,

       I want a meaningful life ....        I wish I could know the purpose of my life , the purpose why i have been created              I was lying on my bed and thinking what have i done these days .. It's meaningless and wasting my time. I love the world more than my God .      [Do not love the world or anything in the world. If anyone loves the world, love for the Father is not in them. 1 John 2:15]          I feel so bad and i know i  was escaping , i don't want God to see me ...It's hurts you know ...some of my friends may say i'm expert in Christianity in my age but i'm the only one who knows that i'm not but a very weak christian . Soon , i entered a different world , it's my dream , my friends and i were i n a reso rt ... That resort look ed ver y spacious and it's not cheap at all ... We were playing and making jokes and at the s ame time , i saw a big and beautiful pool at outside of the res ort fro m the window s.... W

       It's holiday and i was cleaning my room ...You can see a stack of paper here and there .... Notes and exercises... and a lot of things around my room . It was not organize at all and i want to make it neat and clean by dividing every papers according to subject and priority ...To make everything complete , i had decided to go back to school and take my  English subject file for inside of it got a lot of handouts .       It had been a week i was not here at my school... but nothing changed ... still the same buildings , same guards.... Haha... [high expectation] .. so , i was searching for my fi le for thousand and million times but i still could not get it .... I thought i had taken it home during the exam period . That 's it ? Nope , i flip m y friend's file , wow , that f ile was very complete ,awesome and we ll organized .... I have no idea on how i found this essay in his file and that essay make s me feel so guilty and sad unt il now ...           

Time flies , it left only 20 days , then , i will have my SPM Trial 1 Exam . I have done all my assignments and going to put hundred attentions on my exam ! Yesterday , i managed to sleep for 30 minutes only , as too much homework for me ... Actually , if i can manage my time wisely , i will not spent so much on time on that ... Perfectionism = Procrastinate .... I must learnt to be a practical one instead on being an perfectionism ... I will have a short sleep ( May be about 30 minutes )  , then , have a dinner with my friends , after that , going for chemistry tuition .... This is a Malaysia students'  life ... I am happy with this kind of Life , even it 's stress and busy ... But , not ALL students in Malaysia / Singapore / Hong Kong / Japan can live with this kind of life ...when , they are not able to cope this stress , they choose to end up their life .... This is why people say study in Asia is stress and not easy ... After joining the chinese debate team , i have learne

I did't sleep last night , as i was doing the project that should be done on the holiday ... I managed to have a ten minutes sleep... and it was 6 am , my mood was extremely bad , i was searching for coffee , my father told me that the coffee is finished ... and i was like shouting and bad mood .... but soon , i found the coffee pack in the forum kit , i had drank a very concentrated coffee ( Put 1 3in 1 and 1 package of 2 in one ) ... I putted it in the refrigerator . My father had to sent my 2 sisters to school first as i was always late , this morning is very cold , but , i did't realized it , i put off my everything , and locked up my door , then i took a cold water shower ... OMG ... Damn, so cold ... I arranged my self and feel so fresh , after having the coffee , i can finally see the sun of my heart .... I went to school as usual , as we have to past up additional math project today , everyone was burning the mid night oil . I used to reference my friend's work

Do you believe that i managed to use only RM 2 on yesterday , not even 1 USD ? The breakfast , lunch and everything is included in the RM 2 . By using only RM 2 , i had learned not to waste money . As usual , my father gave me RM 10 yesterday , i gave RM 8 to my friend and ask her to take of it and don't give me back , until the school end even if i ask for it ... I brought my own container with rice and have my breakfast before i went to school . I did't  buy any junk foods or drinks ... I used that RM 2 to buy some vege for my lunch . But , as for today , i used the same method ,but , i cannot control myself as i was too hungry , and i had spent about RM 8 .... I want to save more money ... As for yesterday , i continued my reading " Why Study Smart " written by Teo Aik Cher . This book is fantastic as it is very smart ... I have learned to study smart instead of study hard , understand but not only knowing ... a lot can be learned in this book ... very recommend

They haven't reply my message yet ... I had sent , but , why they don't reply me ? This is what i felt just now and before this ....am i too serious on that or because my ability is not enough to be replied  ? I had created a lot of reasons for why they did't reply me ... and all of that are pessimistic thinking . Sometimes , i was too pessimistic... I should not have a " girl thinking ". I still remember what the speaker for the 10th district 308-A2 Leo Forum 2012 Lion Alan Thoo  told us ... He said that we should change our mindset . Yes , i think so ... I should change my mind set ...for example , they haven't reply my message is because they were busy ... Sometimes , we should learn to think positively , as positive thinking will have a positive result... Life is simple , why we make it complicated ??? Speaker for the 10th District 308-A2 Leo Forum  2012 Lion Alan Thoo 

This day was started with a simple prayer . I thanked to the God as i still can breath , i asked God to captivate us and set me free from the darkness of today .      Just stepping out from the door of my room , i saw the plant that planted by me yesterday ...That feeling was very great ! As usual , i took shower before i go to school... When i was looking on myself , i found that i am becoming fatter and i realized that i am lacking of exercise . When i put on my school uniform and everything ,i found my neck tie was lost . I kept finding ... and finally , i gave up on finding ... I decided to tell teacher everything and ask for a new one .       I told my father that i lost my neck tie , and he was helping me to find that ... As time was  nearly 7 am , i asked my father to get ready ... He was very slow  and i cannot wait ... but , when i want to used my Lion 's Voice to shout him , i found that he was slow because he was helping me to find my neck tie .I was  touched that ti